Preschool!!

Ethan had his first day of preschool yesterday! He was quite excited when he went to bed on Sunday night and his excitement continued into the following morning. School starts early at 7:45 am, but I really like that! It means Craig is still at home to get Carter going and I can take Ethan to school alone. Plus, since I pick him up at 10:15 am, I feel like we still have most of the day to do whatever we need to do. Plus, he is up anyway, so I don't see a problem with the early start.






These two are such good friends

SO very excited!! Over the weekend we completed his name tag project. He loves glue and markers!! Plus, he did a great job threading the beads onto the string.

I was curious to see how he would do and how he would respond to going into his classroom. We pulled into the parking lot and his smile lit up the car! Before heading inside, we prayed together asking God to protect Ethan and to give him listening ears and an obedient heart. (We will continue to do this everyday as I think it helps set the tone for the day.)

He hung up his backpack outside on his hook and then we stopped by the bathroom. Policy states all children need to wash their hands before they enter the classroom. (LOVE this policy!) His teacher also requests that each child try to use the potty. This was the part that was a little difficult for Ethan because he hates public bathrooms. But, he did great.

He entered the classroom, he found his name and put it in the "here today" slot. Then I hugged him, gave him a kiss and told him to have a wonderful day. And, that was that. He found the train table and wasn't fazed by the fact that I left. No tears...for anyone in our family, I might add. ;) I have the daily schedule of activities and I have been making it a point to pray for Ethan at the beginning of each new activities.

Back at the homefront Carter got to sit in Ethan's chair and play with his trains.

Plus, he stacked blocks with Maverick and me.

It wasn't long before it was time to pick up my little preschooler. He gave me a giant hug and said he had fun.

Carter got some snuggles as well.

Once home, E was pretty hungry and attempted a few bites of my breakfast, along with some water.

And then, he "called" daddy and told him about his day.

Today he was just as excited!!

The train table is a huge hit!

Ethan's teacher has told me that he is doing great. He is following directions well, getting into line when requested and sitting nicely during circle time. I send him with his own snack so that he has something he can handle orally. I also send him with his own cups and straws since he doesn't have the oral skills to drink from a cup without a straw.

Interestingly his one big concern yesterday was eating at school. He kept giving me the sign for eating and acting concerned about it. I told him countless times that he didn't have to eat or drink while at school. And while he had two sips (according to his teacher), she had to also reassure him that he didn't have to eat if he didn't want to. Today was better as he ate two puffs and drank about 1.5 ounces of milk. (That amount is quite good for him at one sitting!!)

So far, he is loving school and I am so happy to see him enjoy it. The hardest part for me is not hearing from him what he does while he is at school. I hear other kids telling their moms everything they did, but Ethan doesn't have that oral ability. And, I don't always know what to ask. I try to think of things to ask him about his day and normally he responds with "yes." I hope that with time and exposure, his oral ability will increase and I can hear more about his day from him.

Open House

I have never been on that side of the table before! Normally I am the one speaking to the parents, answering questions and putting fears to rest. Even in the online world, we still have open houses and back to school assemblies. Last night was Ethan's first open house. It was so strange to be on the parent side. I was please with the presentation and I am thrilled that he will attend Chapel once a week. We have two projects to complete this week and we are both excited to do them. Since the train table was covered up, Ethan's favorite thing to play with was the kitchen! I realize that we spend a lot of time in the kitchen a lot together, but I never would have thought he would like it so much. Maybe one day he will become a skilled chef with his own restaurant and he can cook for us every night of the week. :) Would that not be the ultimate irony with Ethan?!


He was thrilled to be at preschool. Earlier in the week, we were able to meet with the teacher and the director to discuss his medical background, his eating., etc. During that meeting, Ethan wouldn't leave the train table. We will see how the first day goes!


I tried and tried and tried to rotate this picture. I had to use it because it shows that we do indeed have the best dog ever.


The pool is still in the family room. It has provided endless hours of entertainment!



Carter's chair finally came. (The stitching on the first one was coming apart so we sent it back. It was on back order all summer. He loves to sit and look at books.)

This past Wednesday was my first day with students. I stay VERY busy during the beginning of school, especially because I currently have 378 students!!! I was on the computer and phone for most of the day. All of a sudden I realized that I didn't hear Carter. I went searching for him and then I saw that he had climbed up under the table...right where I was sitting.

On the same day, I found Ethan talking to himself and typing on our home computer.

For a long time, I have been wanting to get a rocking horse for Ethan. You know, the old fashioned kind with the springs. When I had looked into getting one, my jaw dropped when I saw they were priced around $150! There was no way I was going to pay that much! I noticed a neighbor having a garage sale this morning when we went out to pick up Ethan's prevacid. There in their front yard was this rocking horse...for $20. I was sold! Plus, he even carried it back to my house for me. :)

As soon as we got inside, Ethan climbed on and rode for a full hour. Yes, for 60 minutes he rode back and forth, back and forth, smiling every time he looked up. I told him it was lunch time and that he could ride his horse once he finished eating, until it was time for his nap. I have never seen him eat as fast as he ate. Then, he climbed on and rocked for another 35 minutes until it was time to go up for a nap. After nap, he rode for 45 minutes until it was time for snack and then he got back on. He LOVES it! Craig and I both had one as kids and it looks just like the ones we had.

Giving hugs before it was time to go up for a nap.

The excited cowboy.

Devotion

Sometimes, in the early morning hours, Ethan will sit with me while I do my devotion. I recently started reading Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I had heard a lot about this devotion but was hesitant because sometimes I feel like popular devotions are more about what the authors writes than about God's word. In Jesus Calling, Sarah Young takes verses from the Bible and puts it into first person. I like what I have read so far and like that it is just verses, not a lot of commentary. (Although there is nothing wrong with commentary.) With preschool around the corner and other moms sending their precious babies (no matter how old they are) off to school, this particular entry was touching.

Verses used include: Genesis 22:9-12, Ephesians 3:20 and Exodus 33:14

She writes:
Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in you clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one-as well as yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship. Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.
When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My presence with go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.

I always have felt that I did a pretty good job with trusting God with Ethan's care while he was in the hospital or through his various procedures. However, Ethan has not been left with many people and so the thought of being with a new person (plus other kids) for 2.5 hours a day is somewhat worrisome. Even though I know it will be extremely good for him, I worry.

I have seen Ethan with kids he doesn't know and watched as they have pushed him down. It makes any mom sad. But, the worst part is that Ethan hasn't realized that they are being mean and thinks they are playing with him. That makes me even more sad. He won't speak up. I have tried to talk with him and have encouraged him to say, "stop," (which sounds like "bop") when someone isn't nice. So far he hasn't caught on and I, like any mom, don't want to see my baby hurt by someone else. I need to work on trusting God to keep Ethan safe during this new adventure.

A Decade

Craig and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary this past Thursday (18th). 10 years. We have been through a lot in 10 years. While both sets of family live in the suburbs of Chicago, Craig and I moved west. The last nine years have been spent in Colorado. In that time both of us have made various career moves, bought our first condo and then house, got the best dog ever, had two adorable boys and, oh yeah, dealt with everything Ethan related. :)

During the first few days in the NICU with Ethan, we were told that the divorce rate for long-term NICU families was 78%. The constant stress, among other things, can put a deep strain on a marriage. And, just because we are both Christians, with deep faith, doesn't mean that we would automatically be exempt from that statistic. We were blessed to have others uplifting us in prayer during that time. By the time Ethan came along we were going on 7 years of marriage and we had learned, by being so far away from everyone we held dear, that we had to depend solely on God and each other. We used each other's shoulders as kleenex when days were rough with Ethan and we knelt in prayer daily. God's faithfulness and grace has carried us through those times and will continue to do so. We highly respect each other and love each other dearly. We see things similarly and, as parents, feel that we are a team and don't play into "good cop, bad cop."

Craig makes me laugh...a lot. We deeply enjoy spending time together and like each other's company. It hasn't always been easy, but marriage isn't meant to be easy. He is an amazing father with a twinkle in his eye. When he plays with the boys, I will sometimes walk away so that he can involve them in whatever crazy scheme he knows I would warn against. This often leads to laughter. He reminds the boys to listen and obey me while he is gone and, while I will handle anything I need to during the day, he will check with the boys when he gets home making sure they did as he asked in the morning. I appreciate hearing, "your mother asked...so you need to obey her," coming from his mouth. I say the same thing to the boys regarding Craig. He is incredibly helpful around the house as well, making life a little easier for me. Our philosophy has always been that we all live here together and we all need to help out.

We don't have the answer for a perfect marriage because perfect marriages don't exist. God holds dear His children and wants us to focus on Him first.

It is hard for me to write some of this because the last thing I want is to come off sounding like it is all roses and daisies. Or that we have something better than others because that isn't the case. I have looked at other marriages and thought, "wow, God has blessed them with something pretty amazing." The thing we have is Christ. And, that alone, doesn't mean it will be easy or happy all the time. But if He remains the center of both of our lives and our marriage, we will have many more incredible anniversaries.

School Supplies

Ethan and I had a very special day together this past weekend. It was our first trip shopping for school supplies! We had so much fun together. While I know that many people dread this time of year, (as evidence from the people we saw at the store) I think it is fantastic. Ethan is starting preschool in a couple of weeks. While I realize that it is not imperative for 3-year-olds to go to preschool, we think that a couple of hours a day, three times a week is just perfect for him. Craig and I feel that Ethan will greatly benefit by being around other kids his age. Not to mention it will be good for him to see other kids eat and do other typical 3-year-old activities.

I want Ethan to love going to school and to be excited about everything he is going to get to do while he is there. Having spent close to 10 years in education, I have seen that the parent's response to school directly impacts how a child views school. Ethan and I have been excitedly talking about preschool and everything he is going to experience. His school is at a Christian church not far from our home. We pass it often and every time we do, I talk about how lucky he is to get to go to school and learn. Now he is so excited that he gets upset when we don't pull in when we pass by the church!

When I first looked into preschools I was nervous. At that point Ethan wasn't eating and I didn't know if he would be potty trained by the time school would start. A friend sent her son to this preschool and was very happy with their experience. When I visited, I was thrilled to find out that the teacher has experience with g-tubes and is CPR/First Aid trained. (I think most have to be CPR/First Aid trained, but it is vital for us to know for sure.) Ethan warmed up to her quite quickly and was sad to go once we were done looking at the classroom. He isn't potty trained and I figured that meant he wouldn't be allowed to come to school. However, the director felt that we should try it for a month and see what happens. Ethan may see all the other kids using the potty and decide that it is a good idea. (He likes to sit on the potty and asks us to do so, but hasn't been very successful yet.) And if he doesn't, then we will try again next semester. It is no big deal.

One of the other reasons we thought now would be a good time is because we know he is going to get exposed to a lot of germs. (I know, can you believe this is coming out of my mouth!?) But, if we wait until kindergarten to expose him, he will likely miss the better part of the year and that is not good at that age. Ethan's pediatrician cleared him to go to preschool as well as Sunday School at church. And, we will see. If it gets to the point that he is sick too much of the year, we will pull him out. Again, it isn't a big deal if we pull him.

At the end of the day, our goal is to help Ethan thrive and being around kids his age who are eating and have a larger vocabulary will hopefully encourage him in these areas as well. Plus, the biggest part is having him in an environment that encourages and teaches Biblical principals. There will be more to come on this topic! I am excited for him, but sometimes, late at night, I worry about my baby being away from me--even if just for two hours. (Doesn't every mom??) I think the hardest thing for me will be not hearing everything about Ethan's day because he doesn't have the vocabulary that other children his age have. However, I am confident that his teacher will communicate all the important elements of his day.


Before our shopping trip


Hmmm, which scissors should I pick? (Maybe different ones that aren't so sharp!)

Ethan's pick for the kleenex...the Cars one will stay home though as he would be too distracted having it at school. (This is where the teacher in me comes out, even with school supplies. I have seen how easily kids get distracted by the smallest things in a classroom.)

Yes, I was the mom taking pictures. Not only did I want to document this exciting day, but I wanted Craig to see part of it as well.

Such a big boy carrying (or dragging) the basket.

A very hard decision! This was one thing I let him have that has Cars on it. It will be inside his backpack and out of view. :)

Why wait for preschool to work on writing?

I have had the hardest time finding him a backpack!! I just want a normal, child-sized, plain backpack. All the ones I can find have characters on them, etc. I thought he may be able to use his Heart Institute backpack, but he would have to walk around with his arm in the air to keep it on...I figured that wouldn't work. ;)

Oma's visit

My mom spent all of last week with us. We really enjoyed her visit! It was extremely helpful to have her watch the boys while I had to be at meetings for work. Ethan would wake her up in the morning and didn't leave her side very often. Carter loved having someone continue to build towers so that he could knock them down! We enjoyed lunch, coffee and just being with each other. And, she treated Craig and me to a dinner date for our 10 year anniversary. That meant that I got to eat my food while it was hot and I didn't have to cut food up for anyone. It was great! :)


Carter LOVES fruit. He also loves green veggies...he will pick the green veggies out of the other ones and eat them first.


Reading his Cubs book. Yep, he picked it himself and sat down to read all about the best team in baseball!


This was my stroller as a baby. I was shocked when my mom drove up and it was in her car. I am so excited that she gave it to me. It is fabulous! It also has a bassinet piece that can be switched out. My mom is repairing the sun visor and we should have it soon.


I love this stroller! My grandfather gave it to my mom and he was very special to me. He passed on his love for the Cubs and baseball in general. As a young child, I would sit on his lap through doubleheaders and learn about the Cubs. This stroller means a lot to me and I am thrilled to see my boys in it!




Oma brought the boys a new pool. The only problem is that it stormed most of the afternoons while she was here. I had been saving a bag of balls that I bought on clearance after Christmas for a "rainy day." Sure enough, when you fill a pool with balls, it is just as fun as water! (Plus, no sunscreen to put on!)

Helping Oma on the computer

I guess Oma wasn't meant to eat this meal. Ethan crawled up onto her lap and wanted to try to eat everything that was on her plate.

All things food

As of Friday, we have officially stopped Ethan's night feed!! He now does not receive ANY food/formula through his g-tube! How amazing is that?! (We do flush it with water once a day, but that is it!) Two weeks ago I was told that if Ethan gained weight again (he had made a gain of 5 ounces at that appointment) we would be able to drop the last feed. Even though he spent 10 days fighting a cold, he was able to gain another 5 ounces! I had changed some of his food after I found a few new puree options and those extra calories seem to have helped.

It has been odd and yet very exciting not to start a night feed for Ethan. The next two weeks will determine if we go back to giving him a night feeding or if he can continue without it. He will need to show some weight gain (at least a couple of ounces) in order to not go back on a pump feed.

One of the big things that impressed his feeding therapist was that Ethan is now taking his Prevacid orally. She couldn't believe it and was also happy to hear that he had some Tylenol orally as well.

When it comes to food, I travel high and low, as well as research endlessly to find new purees that have the highest calorie count in the smallest volume possible. Plus, I search out coupons/offers so that I can get what I need in the cheapest way possible. I also buy organic for both boys, so it takes a little more to find good options. (Although, Carter mostly eats table food.) Here are a few:

Sprout Organic baby food was developed by Tyler Florance from the Food Network. I like some of these purees because they have more "advanced" tastes and are full of calories. For example, every day Ethan has either Ginger Chicken with Coconut or Butternut Squash Mac n Cheese for lunch. Both of these options have 240 calories in 5.5 ounces of food. Not to mention the fact that they are more unique tastes than just typical purees. Pair these with a different brand of puree and he gets close to 350 calories for lunch. Lasagna, Creamy Chicken and Holiday Vegetable Dinner are other Sprout options that Ethan has throughout the day. I do still have to puree all of these further as they are too chunky for Ethan to handle orally.

Ella's Kitchen Organic baby food is another puree that we use daily, and normally add to his lunch, etc. I actually just found this brand recently and was so excited when three of the options offer 120-140 calories in only 3.5 ounces. One, in particular, is nice because it doesn't have bananas in it. We don't mind bananas and Ethan really likes them. However, most foods that are highly caloric also have bananas which means he gets a lot of bananas!

Earth's Best Organic food is part of his morning routine. Every day he has a blueberry/brown rice combo that has 110 calories in 4 ounces. With breakfast he also always has YoBaby Organic Yogurt, which also has 110 calories in 4 ounces.

Plum Organic baby food has some great options as well, but many of them involve bananas and, while they had the top caloric options in the past, when I found Ella's Kitchen, Plum has become a back up.

While I used to make some of Ethan's food and made all of Carter's, it is too difficult to keep track of exact calories and expose Ethan to new tastes. I usually drive to three different stores to get the needed food for the week. Of course, Ethan tries most of the meals we eat as well and he also has a shake in the afternoon that I make for him. (It is the consistency of milk, so I don't know if it really qualifies as a shake. Not to mention, he eats it with a spoon instead of drinking it.) The shake is an additional 350 calories.

Ethan will need to work hard (very hard!) on drinking liquids--milk would be best because of calories--and trying to fit in the calories that he is missing by not having a night feed...I am still trying to figure this one out!

And, so, we continue to celebrate the Lord's faithfulness, how He has guided us through each and every turn, development and change. We are so thankful!

Ethan's weekly food supply. This does not include the items for his afternoon shake. And, yes, that is the famous Magic Bullet in the background. When my grandma sent this to us years ago, I never thought we would use it. I almost got rid of it. Now I use it 5 times a day to puree Ethan's food.

3 teeth!

Carter's third pearly white has made an appearance! His upper right front tooth broke through on Tuesday. I didn't see it until the end of the day because I had to be at meetings both Monday and Tuesday. (More on that later.) I don't know if teeth tend to come through in a certain pattern or not, but so far Carter has cut the same teeth, in the same pattern, as Ethan. Curious! I can tell the other front tooth is about to come through as well. I have been trying to get a picture, but I have yet to get one with all three teeth. But, the one above was cute, so that works! ;)